Conversations with Quan Yin - third entry

Posted by Zephyr
Authentic Power

This conversation had to do with the areas in my life that I struggle with such as my relationships with men, and self discipline. I had worked with my spiritual advisor about how I can get out of the cycle of habits that were not in my best interest and she said to pray and ask to be released from these roles that I was acting out. My role in particular is that I always attract the wounded. Somehow I attract men (and women in a platonic manner) in need of healing of some sort and when they have gotten whatever it is they need I am abandoned. This is a painful cycle that I have been conscious of sometime and I have been praying for assistance and working on it all all the ways I know how but so far -no luck. This was the conversation that I had with Quan-Yin about that subject.

ME -I no longer wish to be the receiver of pain in relationship with men and people. I no longer want to play this role, I wish to be released.

QY - They are drawn to you for healing but you accept them because you are merciful. You can never change the compassion and mercy that you feel for human beings, it is who you are. This would be like trying to scrub off or ignore the freckles on your skin. You can however choose to recognize that when these individual enter your life you can choose not to let them harm you in the process of their healing. You can choose the nature of the relationship and its boundaries. Understand that your human body and emotions are simply a "host" for your spirit. They are the tools for the things that you are here to do. You must have that conversation with your body and emotions and say "my spirit is now in control of my body and emotions, anything that is not in your best spiritual interest may not be a part of my life. My spirit knows what is best for my body and emotions, if you will allow it to have the control." This includes the food you eat and the activities that you engage in, the men and women in your life. This is what true authentic power is, this is what it feels like.

At her request I stopped and had that conversation with myself and during this moment I felt this surge of energy rush through me as if a block had been released and I was feeling for the first time what it felt like to connected to a true unselfish sense of divine power. This power is unlike what humans feel power is, it is an energy that makes you feel so very strong and so very positive. This was elevation but not connected to ego, which I have experience before but not quite to this magnitude this was a waterfall as opposed to a small creek. If I weren't grounded to the earths core through my spinal cord I think I might have floated away, I felt that I was 10 feet tall, energy was moving straight up through me in a overwhelming manner.

She said this was my mantra and that anytime I felt weak I was to remind myself of the proclamation that I made to my emotions and my body, that I should practice this every morning when I wake up to remind my body and my emotions. She prompted me -I had the conversation with my higher self-" Higher self, please let this always be so. Do not let me forget that this is my mantra and that if I loose sight of this or forget you will quicky remind me so that I may learn my lessons through love always and not pain. "

This is a deeply personal story and it was difficult for me to share. Its not polite conversation to talk about our own personal demons but I know that she wanted me to share it. There will be someone out there that needs to hear it as much as I did.
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